Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Lessons in Life

Someone very intelligent and insightful once told me that as human beings, we will never let go of things that frustrate us until we are at that point where we are so fed up, that we finally get tired of putting ourselves in the same nasty situations, and put a stop to our behavior. She said it a lot more eloquently, but you get the gist of it.

So many times, I find myself in the same nasty situations, and try as I might to not let myself be put in them, I seem to fail every time. Theres been definite progress, but never a complete success.

After years of this, I have recently come to the point where I wonder, am I even able to make a complete change? I want to; with all my heart and might, I want to. But I think that I am unable to, at least in this regard. So do I continue to try to force myself to change, or do I just accept the fact that this is who I am, and feel the consequences each time, knowing the full course of how things will go down and accepting it, bc I suspect that this is how it will always be? Sometimes you just have to be realistic with yourself, and take yourself for who you are, for better or for worse.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on...

Saturday, January 2, 2010

2010, Island Style

The days leading up to NYE are pretty uneventful. I spend the most relaxed, chilled-out Christmas I ever have in my whole life. It doesn’t feel like the holidays anyway, what with the 80 degree weather and the palm trees, and the Atlantic sparkling under the sun every time we round a curve in the road. We only go to the beach once, but let me tell you, this is some serious heat we are experiencing. Reading a book outside for more than 10 minutes is out of the question, unless you don’t mind sitting in a pool of your own sweat. The view is gorgeous and the water in the distance looks so inviting, but is just out of reach. Every day I want to jump off the balcony into the beautiful shades of blue, and every time I curse the fact that the ocean’s seeming proximity is just an optical illusion. So close but so far…

At some point after Christmas, God decides we are a little too blessed with all this sun and thinks He should remind us how the rest of the world is living (for example the whole Northeast region of America, whose inhabitants have just endured a record-breaking snow storm). Cue crazy thunderstorms and dark skies. At the feel of the first drops on December 31st, I assure Mo, “Don’t worry. Remember how E said it only rains for 10 minutes here, and then its fine again?”

Well, that turns out to be true every night in the history of nights, except for the last one of 2009, which manages to be the rainiest one we have witnessed so far on the Island. It rains every 20-30 minutes. All night. Without fail.

Aaand a happy new year to you, too! We are off to a stellar start.

I wake up the next morning expecting more of the same. I walk out onto the balcony and am pleasantly surprised that apparently, we are back on someone’s good side. I take a seat in the lawn chair, prop my feet up on the white fence, and behold a beautiful sight.

In those first few moments after I wake up, the world is serene, the view in front of me is amazing, and I feel peace. So what if it rained all night? I could never ask for a better way to start the new year than with the feeling I have on January 1st.